I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
