So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
