so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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