Sry I called you an 8
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
