i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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