It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
