He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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