And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
