so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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