Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
