When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need moral support for this bender
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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