Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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