I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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