Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
