What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
