One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize