wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There's even glitter on my cock...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
