she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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