Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize