I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
