I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
