I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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