you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
