This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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