You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
