Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
