And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
