So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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