I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
