yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
