I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
