she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
50% drunk capacity currently
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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