Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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