I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
