Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
