is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
