Do vagina's smell?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
