Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
