To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
