Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
