If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
