that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
