Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
