okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
