i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You've changed since you got that strap on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
