drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
