dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize