Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
