Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No subtext here. People are naked.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
