There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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