You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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