You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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