summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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