Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
