sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
