dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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