just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
