I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
