Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize