i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
