theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
