Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
