Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
