my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
