Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
