a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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