my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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