So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
