But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
