I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
