im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
A bitchslap is in order.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
