The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
