My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
