This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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