my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
