So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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