Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
